Legends are everywhere. The NFL has them in Bart Starr, Joe Namath, Joe Montana, George Halas, and a hundred others. The business world has them in Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, John D. Rockefeller, and Warren Buffett. The cooking world has them in Emeril Lagasse and Julia Childs, and baseball has them in Babe Ruth, Hank Aaron, Willie Mays, and Ty Cobb. It just makes sense that the sport of turkey hunting has its legends too. I’m sure that when I mention turkey hunting legends names like Colonel Tom Kelly and Ben Rodgers Lee come to your mind, and I believe that is a pretty accurate title to give to those two men. However, when I think of turkey hunting legends I also think of The Swamp Turkey, The Mountain Turkey, The Pasture Turkey, The Ridge Turkey, and The Whiskey Turkey.
To me, legends have a certain mystique about them – a swagger, a certain jenny say kwah. Yes, I know it really is “je ne sais quoi,” but if my friends thought that I knew what that was AND I could spell it correctly I would never hear the end of it. Legends are typically the best of the best at what the do, and it is rare that we ever hear of their defeats. I have a very difficult time thinking of anyone or anything that has more of a mystique and swagger about it or has rarely been defeated than The Swamp Turkey, The Mountain Turkey, The Pasture Turkey, The Ridge Turkey, or The Whiskey Turkey. I had the pleasure of meeting all of these turkeys on at least one occasion, and I can tell you that their names refer to the turkey’s preferred location (or drink) instead of the names that I, or my buddies, have called those birds over the years.
As best I can tell the only one of those turkeys that ever met his demise at the hands of one of my hunting partners was The Ridge Turkey. So, why is it that these birds continually whipped me and my turkey hunting buddies over the years? It is simple… We named them!
You see, once you name a turkey you empower him with even greater strengths and powers than he already naturally has. By naming him, you give him the mystique that we give the legends I mentioned above – The Bambino, Broadway Joe, The Oracle of Omaha, and the Godfather of Turkey Hunting. When you give that turkey that seems to know your next move before you do a name and he beats you at 7 AM on a Saturday morning, you give up on him because he is The Mountain Turkey. He is supposed to win. It is what The Mountain Turkey does. If The Mountain Turkey didn’t win, he would have never been named The Mountain Turkey to begin with. If he didn’t win the battle, then he would have earned the name Tuesday Night’s Supper instead.
So, the next time you get whipped a few days in a row by the same turkey, do not name him and give him even greater super powers than he already has! If you can’t resist the urge to give him a name, then consider naming him Tuesday Night’s Supper. After all, how many times in your life have you defeated Tuesday Night’s Supper?
If you’ve named a turkey or two in the past, then we would love to hear some names you have adorned the birds with and whether or not you or one of your hunting buddies ever killed those birds.